Getting to know the person you chose to carry your baby is an exciting moment in the surrogacy process. Surrogacy is a collaborative journey between you and the gestational carrier. As the parents, one of the most important aspects of this process is building a relationship with the surrogate.

Establishing a connection is not only beneficial for you but also creates a supportive environment for the surrogate. But how can you get to know the surrogate? We’re here to explain the ins and outs of getting to know a surrogate and will help you come up with questions to ask a potential surrogate.

If you have any questions about getting to know a surrogate, then contact a surrogacy professional online now to get personalized support.

How Do I Talk to My Surrogate Mother?

Now that you’re familiar with the questions to ask a surrogate mother, you can start to get to know her better. You can ask the surrogate what her preferences are for communication going forward. A busier working mom may find texting more convenient while others go with phone calls.

Regardless of the method of communication, it’s important to forge a deep connection that extends beyond the surrogacy process. By fostering open communication and showing appreciation, you can build a meaningful relationship based on trust and support.

How Do You Bond With a Surrogate?

Bonding with the surrogate can take some time but it’s important to communicate openly with them. Establishing open and frequent lines of communication from beginning to end can help build trust, understanding and mutual respect. It can be an exciting time watching your bond grow.

You’ll be able to share regular updates, communicate over text, schedule regular video calls and more. Being there for the surrogate during ultrasounds and hearing the baby’s heartbeat can create cherished memories you won’t forget. You can decide the frequency and type of communication you want to have with your surrogate. Your surrogacy professional can help mediate these conversations if necessary.

What Questions Should I Ask My Surrogate?

As you begin the process of getting to know your surrogate, there are some basic questions to ask a potential surrogate during your first meeting. These questions to ask a potential surrogate include:

• Why did you decide to pursue surrogacy?
• What are your hobbies and interests?
• What are your personal values?
• What’s important to you?
• Does your family support your surrogacy plans?
• What is your family like?

During the first introduction, it would be a good time to ask about their surrogacy profile, especially if anything in particular stood out to you. These questions to ask a potential surrogate are great for your first introduction. It’s always best to avoid any complicated questions to ask a potential surrogate, especially those that have to do with compensation.

What Are Detailed Questions to Ask a Surrogate Mother?

Once the first conversation goes well, you may already have decided that the surrogate is the right match for you. And if you’re not sure, that’s fine too. It might take a few conversations for you to be comfortable and sure that a surrogate is right for you.

Regardless of if you’ve found the right match or not, you’ll need to eventually ask a few complicated questions to ask a potential surrogate including:

• How committed are you to the surrogacy process?
• Do you know the risks involved in the process?
• How will you explain becoming a surrogate to your children?
• What involvement would you like from me as an intended parent?
• What were your previous pregnancies like?
• How do you feel about carrying multiples? What about selective reduction and termination?
• What do you want to gain from this experience?

More sensitive topics like compensation will likely be handled by your surrogacy professional. While these are some great questions to ask a potential surrogate, they’ll likely have some questions for you as well. You’ll want to answer her questions honestly and openly to ensure you find the right match.

Do You Get a Gift for the Surrogate?

To show your appreciation for the surrogate, you can send a thoughtful gift to demonstrate your gratitude. While it isn’t required, showing a surrogate your appreciation through a gift can help her understand how her generosity has impacted your life.

One of the questions to ask a potential mother can be what’s her favorite book, movie or snack. This can help you gauge what kind of gifts to buy her during the process.