Using a Friend as a Surrogate
- Determine if using a friend as a surrogate is the right choice for you.
- Explore how the surrogacy process works when you’ve identified your surrogate.
- Learn how working with an agency can create a positive surrogacy experience for everyone involved and contact an agency to learn more.
When you’ve been trying to build a family, your closest friends are often there to listen and help however they can. For those who are deciding to grow their family through surrogacy, it may feel like a friend could be the best person to help carry your child. Using a friend as a surrogate can be great for some parents, but it’s important to have all the facts about the process.
If you have questions about the surrogacy process and whether you can use a friend as a surrogate, connect with a surrogacy agency today.
How Does Using a Friend as a Surrogate Work?
Step 1. Screening and Assessments
Both of you will need to go through screenings and assessments to determine if you’re both ready for the surrogacy process. If using a friend as a surrogate, they will still need to fill out assessments, obtain medical records and go through a background check to ensure they meet the requirements to become a surrogate. This is an intimate process and it’s important to make sure everyone is prepared for the journey ahead.
Step 2. Legal Process
Using a friend as a surrogate may feel like a safe way to go through surrogacy. While you might feel you have established a good understanding and completely trust each other, the legal process is still necessary. A legal surrogacy agreement will ensure that all responsibilities are detailed, helping to dispel any potential resentment.
Step 3. Medical Screening
The medical process will help prepare your surrogate for pregnancy. They will meet with your fertility clinic of choice and get started on medications to prepare for the embryo transfer.
Step 4. Transfer of Embryo
This is the point the embryo will be transferred to your surrogate. The process will take place at the fertility clinic, and will require the surrogate to relax and take things easy over the next few days. They will need to come back after a few weeks to determine a positive pregnancy.
Step 5. Pregnancy and Welcoming Baby
Your surrogate will go through pregnancy, and you can come to an agreement on doctor’s appointments and whether you would like to attend them with her. Once she gives birth to your baby, you will have a brand new bond to your friendship.
How Surrogacy Can Affect Friendships
It’s important to understand how surrogacy can affect your friendship before using a friend as a surrogate. Even if you have a strong foundation of friendship, the surrogacy process can bring up a lot of emotions. A few questions to ask yourself in preparation include:
- How long have you been friends?
- What hardships have you previously been through?
- Do you trust them?
- Do either of you hold any resentment towards the other?
- Has your friend had healthy and uncomplicated pregnancies?
- Are you okay with being close with the person carrying your child?
Taking some time to be sure this is a good choice for both of you can help establish a healthy starting point if you choose to use a friend as your surrogate.
Working with a Surrogacy Agency
Even if you know your surrogate, it can still be helpful to work through a surrogacy agency. It can be cheaper to use a friend since you won’t have to pay for matching and advertising fees. However, working with a surrogacy agency when you’re using a friend as a surrogate will help both of you.
An agency will set you up with a surrogacy professional that will walk you through everything you need to know and assist you with the legal and medical processes. They will also be able to screen your friend to know whether they are a quality candidate for surrogacy.
If you want to know more about the surrogacy process when using a friend as a surrogate, contact a surrogacy agency. A surrogacy professional will be able to walk you through the process, offer resources and help you decide if this is the right path for you.
Ready to get started? Contact a surrogacy agency now to get free information.