Becoming a Surrogate for Someone Else
Can You Be a Surrogate for a Sibling?
When you have a sibling, you have a friend for life. Naturally, you want to do everything you can to help make their dreams come true. And for many women, that even goes as far as being a surrogate for a sibling.
If you’re considering becoming a surrogate for your brother or sister, then you should know that:
- Becoming a surrogate for your brother sister, or in-law is possible as long as you meet the requirements.
- Whether you choose to help your sibling or another intended parent you should always start by contacting an agency.
- Being a surrogate for your sibling may come with heightened emotions, but with the right preparation, your relationship can come out stronger than ever.
Ready to learn more about being a surrogate for your sibling? This guide will point you in the right direction. But if you’d like to speak with a specialist directly, then you can always reach out through our free information form.
Can Siblings Do Surrogacy?
Yes! We hear questions like, “My sister wants me to be her surrogate. Is that really possible?” often. As long as you meet the requirements, then there’s nothing stopping you from giving your sibling an incredible gift.
The requirements to become a surrogate will change depending on the state you live in and the agency you work with. But typically, an agency will ask that you:
- Are between the ages of 21 and 35
- Are currently raising a child in your home
- Have had at least one successful pregnancy
- Are not participating in any illegal drugs or substances
To learn what it takes to become a surrogate for a sibling, please fill out our free information form to be connected by a specialist.
Is it Weird for Sisters to Be Surrogates? [What to Consider]
This is a question that only you can answer. Becoming a surrogate for your sibling versus intended parents you don’t know means that you have to consider:
Jealousy: Not being able to carry their child themselves is going to be a very painful experience for your sibling. As you can imagine, watching you go through the pregnancy experience can cause feelings of jealously to creep up. We’re sure that you’ve already been extra considerate of their feelings and struggle to build a family. But being a surrogate for a brother and sister-in-law (or another sibling and their partner) also means understanding that this experience can cause old sibling rivalries to pop up.
Finances: Many women consider being a surrogate for a sibling to be a gift, and don’t ask for anything in return. You might even feel uncomfortable accepting money from your sibling if the offer is on the table. Although altruistic surrogacy is always an option, it’s actually not recommended for surrogacy with siblings. Becoming a surrogate means spending at least a year or more of your life helping the intended parents. You’re going to be under physical and emotional stress, and you deserve to be compensated fairly for the hard work you’re putting into this process. We know that discussing finances can be awkward, but not receiving fair compensation can breed resentment over time.
Boundaries: Becoming a surrogate means creating a deep, intimate relationship with the intended parents. It’s not uncommon for them to join you doctors’ appointments and even be present in the delivery room. If you’re thinking of being a surrogate for your sister or brother, you’ll have to get used to including them in private moments like these.
Family dynamics: Going into this, you should know that surrogacy will change your and your sibling’s individual relationship forever. But it’s going to have an impact on your extended family, too. Your children, spouse, parents and cousins all need to be ready for how being a surrogate mother for your brother, sister-in-law or other sibling will change your relationship.
During the screening process, your specialist will ask you some questions about your relationship to gauge your readiness. This way, you’ll have a better grasp on whether becoming a surrogate for your brother or sister is right for you.
Should I Be a Surrogate for My Sister? [Traditional Vs. Gestational]
Sometimes we get questions like, “Can I be a traditional surrogate for my sister?” The answer to that should always be no. In traditional surrogacy, you would use your own eggs to create the embryo, making you the biological mother of the baby. Obviously, you can see where that would make things uncomfortable at home.
In all surrogacy situations, but especially ones with a sibling, gestational surrogacy is recommended.
What if I Decide on Not Being a Surrogate for My Brother?
You will always have the final say in whether you become a surrogate and who you decide to be a surrogate for. Like with any surrogacy relationship, it’s important to make sure that you’ve found the perfect fit. You’re going to be building a deep, intimate relationship over the next 9 months. So, if you’re not feeling eager about being a surrogate for your brother or sister, then it’s better to be upfront. That way, they have plenty of time to find the perfect surrogate for them and you can find intended parents who fit what you’re looking for.
When Megan decided to become a surrogate, she didn’t know that she’d be leaving with a new family member:
Megan says, “I didn’t just have babies for somebody else; I gained an entire family through the whole process. It was the most rewarding thing in the entire world. I would do it all over again.”
If you decide to be a surrogate for your family member, contacting an agency is the best place to start! With their help, you can learn more about drafting your legal surrogacy contract, receive ongoing support and more, all for free. And the best part? You can find everything you need in one place, so you don’t have to search for multiple professionals. To learn more about how an agency can help with being a surrogate for a sibling, please fill out our free info form.
Ready to get started? Contact an adoption agency now to get free information.