Finding Intended Parents
Questions I Should Ask to Intended Parents [And Getting to Know Them]
One of the first steps you’ll take in your surrogacy process is finding intended parents. But, before you commit to surrogacy with them, you’ll need to take some time to get to know them. The intended parents you decide on can have a significant impact on your journey, so you will need to choose wisely.
If you have any questions about getting to know intended parents, then you can contact us today and get more surrogacy information now. In the meantime, though, we’ve put together this detailed guide that should help you develop a relationship with the intended parents. You may be wondering, “Are there questions I should ask intended parents?” We’ll provide some questions and go over some general information below.
Arranging Your First Conversation
After you have browsed profiles of intended parents, you can set up your first conversation with the intended parents you’ve chosen. Although profiles provide plenty of helpful information, there are some details that you can learn only from speaking with the intended parents and getting to know them directly.
If you have found intended parents without a surrogacy agency’s help, then you may have already contacted them through social media or an online surrogacy listing. From a general standpoint, you will get to know the intended parents through a phone call or an in-person visit. You and your surrogacy professional will set up a time for this before moving forward with a match. This is to make sure that you are all on the same page in terms of details, goals and preferences.
You may feel nervous about meeting them for the first time, and that is completely normal. Your surrogacy professional will mediate the conversation to help dispel any nerves and break the ice a bit. You will be working with these people for a year or more, so it’s important to ensure that these intended parents are perfect for you.
Beginning Your First Conversation
Now that you have arranged your first conversation with the intended parents, you may be asking yourself, “Are there any questions I should ask intended parents?” One thing you’ll want to be mindful of is saving the surrogacy questions for the middle and end of the conversation. Ease into it so that you’re comfortable with each other before you dive into the meat of the meeting.
To help get you started, here are some questions to ask intended parents:
- What are some of your hobbies and interests?
- What are some of your family traditions?
- How would you describe your parenting style?
- What values are important to you?
- Why do you want to become parents?
- What is your family like?
- Why did you become interested in surrogacy?
On top of these, there may be some other questions you have, such as ones about their profile, professional background and more. It’s important that you get to know the intended parents on a personal level before moving forward with the next step of surrogacy.
Your Preferences for the Surrogacy Process
Once you and the intended parents have broken the ice and started getting to know each other, you can start asking about their preferences and goals for surrogacy. This will help you know whether these intended parents are a good fit or not, as you can see if their goals and preferences align with yours. It’s one of the most crucial parts of your surrogacy journey.
Keep in mind that your surrogacy professional will navigate the tougher, more sensitive questions and handle those for you. Also, the intended parents will likely have some questions for you, too, so make sure you’re prepared to provide some answers about your surrogacy preferences and goals. It will be less like an interview and more like a natural conversation.
When it’s time to talk about the intended parents’ goals for the surrogacy process, you may be thinking, “Are there questions I should ask the intended parents?” Here are some to get you started:
- When would you like to start the surrogacy process?
- How many attempts at an embryo transfer are you willing to make?
- Are you using your own egg/sperm, or are you using a donor’s?
- Are there particular medical or legal professionals you want to use?
- What kind of relationship with me do you want to maintain?
- Is your family supportive of your surrogacy plans? Will they be involved in this journey?
- How do you plan on telling the child about surrogacy when they are older?
These questions should set you on a path toward learning about the intended parents’ goals, and you may have a better understanding of whether they’re the right fit for you or not.
How to Know If It Is the Right Match
Although it’s important to learn about the intended parents’ goals, it is equally important that you feel safe and comfortable with them. When you work with a reputable surrogacy agency, they will pre-screen the intended parents to ensure that they are ready for the surrogacy journey.
But, if you are pursuing surrogacy without the help of a surrogacy professional, then you will need to be mindful of certain aspects of your conversation. For instance, pay attention if they mention anything questionable, such as:
- Focusing on money at the expense of other components, such as particular surrogacy services
- Unwillingness to discuss their surrogacy plans with their loved ones
- Rushing through the conversation and a general disinterest in getting to know you
- Refusal to work with a surrogacy attorney
- Lack of support from their loved ones, such as their family or partner
Though matters such as these may seem trivial at first, they often point toward larger issues that could become significant obstacles later down the road. In this case, working with a trusted, credible surrogacy professional can be helpful. They will be able to navigate any tough conversations and ensure that you get everything you need in your surrogacy experience.
Remember that only you know what is best for you, so don’t let anyone try to sway your decisions. Finding the perfect intended parents is a personal journey, but you can contact us online at any time if you have any more questions. We would be happy to help you whenever you need us.
Ready to get started? Contact an adoption agency now to get free information.