How to Become a Surrogate
Is Surrogacy Right for Me? [5 Questions to Ask]
Learning about the surrogacy process is the first and most exciting step when you’re considering becoming a surrogate. But now that your research has begun, you may pause and ask yourself, “Is becoming a surrogate truly right for me?” That answer always depends on you. But becoming a surrogate might be right for you if:
- You’re excited to make a difference in the life of an intended parent
- You enjoy being pregnant and you want to share your gift with someone else
- You have plenty of time that you can devote to this process
Deciding to be a surrogate mom is a life-changing experience. Many women would say that the result of helping a couple build their family was worth any challenges they faced. And some of them fall in love with becoming a surrogate so much that they decide to do it more than once.
After surrogate Alicia gave birth, she had a chance to look back and share her feelings about the process:
“It was just a great experience and I felt really proud of what I did at that time, and even afterward, when the baby came to visit me the next day, I was very grateful to be a part of this experience,” she said.
Deciding to become a surrogate isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. Before you jump head-first into this process, it’s important to ask yourself a few questions before you make your decision. If you’re just starting out and you’d like to learn more about the process, don’t forget that you can always ask a surrogacy professional for more information.
- Do I enjoy pregnancy enough to do it for someone else?
This is one of the first questions you should ask yourself if you’re wondering, “Should I be a surrogate mother?” Don’t feel like you have to become a surrogate just because someone important — like your sister or another relative — is asking you to. If you’re not feeling eager and excited about the thought of becoming pregnant again, your feeling about becoming a surrogate might feel like an obligation which can turn into resentment. On the other hand, if you really do enjoy the feeling of being pregnant and you don’t mind the challenges that come with it, then becoming a surrogate might be right for you.
- Have my spouse and I completed our family?
As you may already know, one of the requirements for becoming a surrogate is that you must be raising a child in the house with you right now. If you’ve been thinking of adding another child to your own family, then you and your spouse should sit down and consider if becoming a surrogate is right for you. Pregnancy comes with certain risks that could prevent you from having more children in the future. While pregnancy complications are rare, you and your spouse should need to come to a mutual understanding with all the risks involved.
- Do I meet all the requirements?
Not just anyone can sign up to become a surrogate. When you ask yourself, “Is surrogacy right for me?” you should also ask yourself, “Do I meet all of my surrogacy agency’s requirements?”
While the requirements for each agency vary, they generally require that you:
- Are between the ages of 21 of 35
- Have a healthy BMI
- Have carried at least one successful pregnancy
- Be raising at least one child at home
- Not be using any alcohol or illegal drugs
- And more
- Will you have family and friends supporting you?
Surrogacy isn’t really something that you should do on your own. When you sign up to become a surrogate, your spouse, children and family are along for the ride. That’s why if you’re considering being a surrogate it’s important that you try to involve all the important people in your life. Having a supportive group of people who you can rely on will make it easier to cope with the ups and downs that come with becoming a surrogate.
- Do I have enough time to become a surrogate?
“You do have to come into it with a selfless attitude. This isn’t a glorious type of work in that senses — like you’re a big part for a short time and your heart needs to know that going in. If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate, you should definitely think about putting your life on hold.”
You need to be prepared for frequent doctors’ visits, staying involved with the intended parents and more. Usually, this process can last up to a year or more. When you ask yourself, “Should I offer to be a surrogate?” think about what sacrifices you’ll have to make before making this commitment.
Things to Consider Before Being a Surrogate [The Pros and Cons]
Becoming a surrogate will always be a personal decision. When you ask yourself, “Should I become a surrogate?” there are a few pros and cons you should take into consideration.
- The joy of helping another family: For many women, the number one reason they consider becoming a surrogate is help someone else. When you become a surrogate, you’ll be changing someone else’s life in so many incredible ways.
- A lasting relationship: One of the things to consider before becoming a surrogate is whether you plan to have a relationship with the intended parents afterward.Becoming a surrogate means that the intended parents will be forever grateful to you for the rest of their lives. If you’re interested, then you can decide to stay in contact with them, whether that’s through picture updates or phone calls.
- Financial benefits: When you become a surrogate, you are not responsible for any of the medical or legal expenses. You’ll also receive base compensation and a monthly compensation to help with a variety of needs. You can use this compensation however you wish.
- Time commitment: Becoming a surrogate means that you’ll have less time for all your other obligations, including the ones to your own family. You’ll be asked to take certain medications for up to 12 weeks, be available for various appointments, be ready to travel and more. If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate mother, you also need to ask yourself if you’re ready to devote at least a year of your life to another family.
- Medical and psychological evaluations: Every woman thinking of being a surrogate is required to undergo heavy medical and psychological screening to ensure they’re ready.
- Physical strain of pregnancy: If you’re someone who doesn’t like being pregnant and all the symptoms that come with it, then you’ll probably have a hard time carrying a baby for someone else. When thinking about becoming a surrogate, this should be a huge factor in your decision. Any woman who decides to become a surrogate, should be excited about the idea of being pregnant.
When you’re just getting started, it’s normal to wonder, “Do I have what it takes to be a surrogate?” If you have more questions about things to consider before being a surrogate, you can always reach out to a surrogacy specialist through our free contact form.
Ready to get started? Contact an adoption agency now to get free information.