What to Do if You Were Denied Becoming a Surrogate

To become a surrogate, you must meet specific emotional, physical, psychological and medical requirements. 

• Strict requirements exist for your safety, the health of the pregnancy and protection for intended parents 
• If you were denied by an agency or fertility clinic, it was likely for a significant reason 
• Depending on the reason for disqualification, you can keep surrogacy in mind for when your circumstances change 

If you’re asking, “How to become a surrogate if you get denied by an agency?” or, “How to become a surrogate if I don’t live in a surrogacy-friendly state?” reach out to a surrogacy specialist online to get information on why you aren’t qualified and what to do next. 

The following information will cover why you might have been denied becoming a surrogate, what options you have and why finding an alternative way to become a gestational carrier can be unethical and unsafe. 

Requirements to Become a Surrogate 

When considering surrogacy, prospective surrogates are often unaware of the significant requirements to meet to qualify. 

There are emotional, psychological, medical and physical challenges involved with surrogacy. It’s vital that you are fully prepared for pregnancy and the lengthy surrogacy process. 

Here are some of the requirements you must meet to become a surrogate: 

• A healthy BMI 
• Between the ages of 21-40 
• At least one previous successful pregnancy 
• Currently raising a child in your home 
• No major complications from previous pregnancies  
• No untreated STDs 
• No smoking, drug use or exposure to second-hand smoke 
• No use of anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications for the last 12 months 
• And more 

Surrogacy agencies and professionals use these requirements to:  

• Protect you by determining your readiness for surrogacy  
• Protect the intended parents to ensure they have the best chance a successful surrogacy 
• Protect themselves against unnecessary risks and liabilities 

State surrogacy laws may also require you to meet strict requirements. While surrogacy requirements may vary slightly from one agency or clinic to the next, most professionals typically follow the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommendations, which means you will likely need to meet the above requirements no matter what professionals you work with. 

Surrogacy is a serious decision, and intended parents are often on their last chance to have a genetically related child. Working with highly qualified surrogates gives them the best chance at having a successful surrogacy. 

Your ability to meet every requirement is crucial.  

You can find a complete guide to the requirements to become a surrogate by taking this link. 

You can also reach out to a professional to get more information on the requirements to become a surrogate by completing this online form. 

So, if you’re thinking, “I don’t qualify for being a surrogate, but I want to be one,” it’s helpful first to understand why you were denied. 

Why You Were Denied Becoming a Surrogate 

Based on the information above, if you completed an application to become a surrogate and were denied by an agency, it’s likely for a significant reason. 

There can be certain exceptions depending on your circumstances, but there are a few non-negotiable requirements for becoming a surrogate: 

• You have to have had at least one successful pregnancy with no significant complications 
• If you have a spouse, you must have their full support 
• You must meet the age requirements to become a surrogate 
• You must be currently raising a child in your home 

You’ll also be required to participate in a psychological examination to determine whether or not you’re emotionally prepared for the surrogacy process.  

Ultimately, whatever the reason for getting denied becoming a surrogate, it could be a sign that surrogacy isn’t for you, at least at this time in your life.  

It’s always an option to reach out to a surrogacy specialist to discuss your application. 

Independent Surrogacy and Providing Honest Medical Records 

Some prospective surrogates asking, “How to become a surrogate if you get denied by an agency?” might choose to pursue an independent surrogacy. 

The idea behind this option is that you can potentially circumvent the screening process by hand-picking the intended parents and surrogacy professionals.

However, attempting to find a “workaround” when you don’t meet all of the requirements for surrogacy is not in your best interest — or the intended parents.

Remember, those requirements exist to protect everyone involved, so attempting to become a surrogate when a professional has determined you are not a good candidate will only put you, the intended parents and their unborn baby at risk.

Additionally, even if you choose not to work with a surrogacy agency, you will need to meet the requirements of the intended parent’s fertility clinic. If you were denied by a surrogacy agency, you will likely be disqualified by the fertility clinic, as well.

Finally, by pursuing an independent surrogacy, you will be missing out on the expert guidance and services provided by a surrogacy agency, which can create additional risks, complications and expenses in your surrogacy journey.

Prospective surrogates may also try to lie or alter their medical records after being denied surrogacy by an agency for not meeting all medical requirements. This is ill-advised for the same reasons; it only puts you at risk, and the truth will come out eventually through the screening process.

Surrogacy always requires a complete screening process, regardless of how someone might try to “get around” the system. That includes fertility clinics ensuring that every surrogate is well qualified. 

Omitting information or lying about medical history is not only unethical, but it puts you, the pregnancy and the intended parents at risk. 

If you’ve been denied surrogacy for failing to meet the surrogate requirements, there are other ways you can be a part of surrogacy:  

Become a Donor 

Not every surrogacy journey is the story of intended parents struggling with infertility simply finding a young and healthy surrogate mother and using their own gametes to create an embryo. Sometimes, an intended mother also needs the help of an egg donor to have a successful surrogacy.

Members of the LGBTQ community and single individuals dreaming of parenthood also pursue surrogacy and may require the use of an egg donor.

Becoming an egg donor is a beautiful way to be involved in surrogacy and help build families. 

If becoming a surrogate isn’t right for you and an agency or fertility clinic has denied you, consider reaching out to an egg donor agency to find out your options for becoming an egg donor. You will still need to meet certain requirements, which your specialist can discuss in-depth. 

Consider Surrogacy When Your Circumstances Change 

“I don’t qualify for being a surrogate, but I want to be one.” 

Surrogates like you, having been denied the opportunity because you could not meet the requirements, may still have the option of surrogacy down the road. 

Depending on why you were denied, you can still consider becoming a surrogate if your circumstances change and you become eligible. 

Here are some circumstances that, when changed, surrogacy can still be an option: 

• You’re not yet 21 
• You haven’t quit smoking 
• You’re currently taking anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications 
• Your BMI is too high or too low 
• You’re presently breastfeeding and don’t plan to stop soon 
• You don’t have the proper support system or face instability in life 
• You haven’t yet had a child of your own

There are various circumstances in life that, when changed, becoming a surrogate is a viable option. 

Continue reaching out to a surrogacy specialist to discuss your circumstances. When you’re capable or ready to make changes to meet the requirements to become a surrogate, your professional can help guide you through the screening process for another chance at gaining eligibility. 

Working with the right surrogacy agency and professionals gives you the best chance to understand the screening process and potentially work to become a qualified surrogate. 

Remember, you can connect to a surrogacy specialist by filling out this online form.